People constantly and purposefully avoid embarrassment throughout their daily lives. They check themselves in mirrors to avoid hair or wardrobe mishaps. They chew on gum and mints relentlessly to avoid bad breath. They endeavor on the regimes of unhealthy fad diets, in order to avoid looking out of shape for swimsuit season. Now, while these embarrassment-avoidant activities are not harmful, the harm that is done from the more important choices people make to avoid embarrassment makes me wonder whether taking such measures to avoid embarrassment is really worth it.
It frustrates me that Tim O’Brien, the author and narrator of The Things They Carried, claims he originally decided to fight in Vietnam because he was too embarrassed to not go to war. He worried that people would be talking about him constantly, as though that would be the one characteristic that would define him for the rest of his life. O’Brien’s narration about why he decided to go to war irritated me because he ultimately resulted in compromising his beliefs in order to avoid embarrassment. Additionally, at one point in the story, O’Brien states that the worst fear for a soldier is the fear of blushing. I am puzzled as to why it is so important to avoid showing other soldiers that embarrassment.
Personally, I would equate pride to be the opposite emotion to embarrassment. Ironically, if I faced O'Brian's choice, and I determined to not follow my draft because I was, on principle, against the war, I would be proud to be standing up for what I believe in.
Cowardice is a reoccurring theme throughout this story, and I think O’Brien wrongly connects embarrassment with cowardice. Being scared, and therefore acting cowardly, is an integral part of human nature. We, as humans, are programmed with the need for self-preservation, so it is natural for us to cry at the sight of death and fear our own death as well. Therefore, being scared is not a reason to be embarrassed. Embarrassment appears to be just a social construct that has been formed out of traditional expectations from society for individuals. We do certain things to avoid embarrassment, so that we escape the negative judgment from society. The harmful element of this process comes into play when we find ourselves doing things we would not have done otherwise, in order to escape embarrassment, similar to O’Brien opting to fight in the Vietnam war. When we start acting in different ways, we alter the expression of our true selves, our beliefs and our principles.
Don’t let the fear of embarrassment keep you from standing up for what you believe in.
A wonderfully uplifting post! (One question, though: how are we to know "the expression of our true selves" in order not to alter it? What/who determines this truth, and is it static?)
ReplyDeleteThis is a topic in which I slightly disagree with O'Brien on. While I do believe that as human beings and, more importantly, as Americans, we do have the freedom and the ability to leave the country and to choose a life that fits our own beliefs. I do believe that the men, who did such a thing as run away from their lives to avoid being drafted during the Vietnam war, deserved the embarrassment that followed their returns. Once again, I have no problem allowing people to have their opinions and their beliefs, but I do have a problem with those that take what they have for granted. In America our government and country provides us with many aspects not found in other countries (freedom is a one of these aspects). I also think that it is our duty, on those rare occasions, to do what our country asks of us. Whether it be fighting for our country, paying taxes or even so little as doing something for our community, I feel it is our job to do so. Those men that ran away had the freedom to run away from what they believed was an unjust war. They also deserved the embarrassment that came from their return after the war was over. This is because they chose to no longer believe in our government and they believed that they no longer wanted to contribute to our country. If this is their choice then I believe that they did not deserve to come back to this country and reap its benefits without embarrassment, for they had their chance and decided against the "American" way. All men have the choice to come back, but I feel no sympathy if that choice was followed by extreme embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteI would say that when you make the choices that make you happy or allow you to follow your principles, that is the expression of your true self. I think that, too often, people follow the dictates of society and, as a result, make choices they would not have pursued otherwise. Thus, people alter themselves to fit society's mold to avoid embarrassment for being different.
ReplyDeleteI actually agree with your post Kurt. I am a firm believer that in order to attain the benefits of our government, citizens must respond when the government calls upon them to protect their nation. My point, while the example may be controversial, was mainly that I think it is wrong to use embarrassment as an incentive to not to something. I was disgruntled with the book because O'Brien portrayed the image that the only reason he decided to abandon his principles and go to war was specifically to avoid the embarrassment he would suffer if he ran. To me, the possibility of embarrassment should not be the main determinant of our decisions.