In Tim O'Brien's novel The Things They Carried, Jimmy Cross, still a young man at the age of 18, receives a summons for the US army to fight in the Vietnam war. Scared and conflicted, Jimmy flees home, and finds refuge at a small inn near the Canadian border. The inn's keeper, Elroy Berdahl, seems at first to be merely the man who takes care of the inn, feeding and providing sustenance to the confused boy. Elroy is described as, "eighty-one years old, skinny and shrunken and mostly bald." But as Jimmy's time there progresses, we begin to see Elroy's role to be much more than a meek hotel manager. Although saying very little to Jimmy, Elroy serves a crucial role in Jimmy's path to a life-changing conclusion. Elroy instantly welcomes Jimmy into his world. They eat every meal together, spend the afternoons playing board games and reading with one another, and Elroy never questions Jimmy about why he was there. Elroy is the calm, steady presence Jimmy needs in order to accept his situation, consider his options, evaluate his own feelings, and eventually come to a decision. It is as if Elroy could feel Jimmy's apprehension, he could feel his anxiety, and he knew there was no need to pry. Elroy was exactly what Jimmy needed, simplicity and stability.
When we find ourselves wavering between paths, or unsure of our own feelings towards a situation, I think the best people to surround ourselves with are ones of stability. By stability, I mean people who are certain of their own values and emotions, and see no need to interject with their opinions on another's situation. For no matter who or how many people we seek advice from, we will in the end do what feels right to us. So, the best person to surround ourselves with in such a time of ambivalence, is simply someone who is there to help us better understand ourselves. Such people are the stable backboard off which we are able to bounce our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and turn come to consensus within. Elroy serves as this backboard for Jimmy.
I think that you confused Jimmy Cross with Tim O'Brien, as it is Tim who went to the Rainy River and spent six days with Elroy. However, I completely agree with your concept of the need for stability when making a life changing decision. I also think that Elroy was necessary for Tim to make his decision because he was a stranger. Elroy was not interested in Tim's life, and by spending time with someone who didn't have a strong opinion about his choice (as a close friend or parent would), Tim was able to make the decision by himself, for himself.
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