Lessons From Home

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have been altered." - Nelson Mandela

This is one of my favorite quotes and very applicable as going home for the first time made me realize how much I have changed. And I especially realized how much my thoughts and perceptions have changed of my general surroundings and conversations with old friends and relatives since taking this class.

It has been funny to hear all the recent discussions in class about Apple and then return home to Palo Alto, the birth place of all that is Apple and general tech madness. First off, the Apple store is in the heart of downtown and by far the largest most showy of stores so that you really can't avoid it. Also walking down town it is absurd to see how many people are actually wearing Google Glass... It's like just incase you can't see the iphone in my pocket please check out the ridiculousness that is on my face. But the fact that google glass is still very limited and you have to sign up and be deemed "good enough" by google is a huge status symbol in itself and completes that perception that you are successful.

Speaking of perceptions, it has been really interesting to see how friends and old classmates talk about their college experiences so others perceive them as extremely happy or having soooooo much fun. At a get together with my classmates there were those boys that were raving about how much they party and one-upping drunk stories so they are perceived as the most fun. There were girls that were "casually" wearing their sorority stuff and asking when I was rushing. When I responded that everything was local and it's not really a big deal the common response was "oh...that's too bad"with a look of superiority. I even heard a discussion between two people about who is working harder, has more homework, and is taking the tougher course load.

Why do we care so much about what are old classmates that we see only at reunions think of us. Whether what we are trying to portray to others is true or not, coming home has made me realize that we are always trying to portray something. Can't we just be ourselves? And never ever wear google glass out in public...

Missing

This Thanksgiving break has made me the most home sick since I moved to the US. Not only passing through the airport made me feel as if I was actually on my way home, but also that its intersecting with Hanukkah, which makes me crave for the traditional foods, specifically those we eat at home – my mother’s latkes, and “Jewish donuts” with dulce de leche from my family’s favorite bakery. I guess that’s how we’re “programmed”, to associate specific tastes, smells or sounds to a particular memory or event (which is also how advertising mostly works), which makes everything so much more complicated. Why do I depend on these materialistic things to help me feel at home? I’m emotionally burdening myself even though I’ve stayed with relatives, ate good food, and am communicating daily with my close family through Skype’s video calls, as if they are actually here. So why can’t I still get over it? I have traveled by myself before, and enjoyed it greatly, but this time in DC I just wanted my family to be with me, to experience together. I’m basically preventing myself from “seizing the day” and only thinking of what I don’t have. Human nature, no? We always crave for what we do not have or is no longer within our reach. And even though I am conscience of this and its emotional impact on me, I cannot do anything about it (without taking off).


*Thanks to my father for reviewing my post

Christmas!

Christmas is my favorite time of year.  I start playing Christmas music the Friday after Thanksgiving, and my cousins have already begun decorating their house.  Right now as I write this post, they are sitting on the living room floor de-tangling the lights from the year before.  The words associated with this time of year are ones like cheer, love, family, joy, peace etc.  Nowhere on this list does manipulation or lies appear—but that would be very accurate. This is one of the few times a year where we expect some degree of deception.

We are manipulated by the season with all of its lights, green and red, snow, ads on television, and Christmas movies, convincing us that we should be feeling a certain way.  Everyone is supposed to be happy at Christmas time.  The commercialized aspect of this holiday manipulates everyone into buying so much stuff they do not really need, yet that is just what is done this time of year.  Purchasing presents for other people is part of the holidays.

We are also lied to by our family and friends to protect various surprises.  These are “good” lies we expect at holiday time.  The existence of Santa Clause is perhaps one of the most successful deceptions of my childhood.  Kids believe whole-heartedly in something they want so desperately to be true.  This little bit of magic adds to the thrill of Christmas morning.  Of course, this is just a blatant lie, and everyone figures it out eventually, yet no one is mad or thinks the deception cruel—they loved it while it lasted, and since they were not alone in the lie, it’s okay.

The idea that we expect the lies is interesting.  Is it still complete deception if we are conscious of it?  Experiencing the holiday season is analogous to reading a novel—we suspend our disbelief, willing to just be a part of the experience.

You Can Try to Lie

    I was talking to my dad the other day and he was telling me about some of the things his father preached to him when he was a kid.  He said the main thing his father told him was to be honest.  My dad said my grandfather became successful because he was honest with everyone and that everyone always trusted him.  This made me laugh a little because I have been tricked and lied to in every book this semester.  While there is a difference between these books and reality, there is still an impact on these writers from lying.  I know have trouble believing anything these authors write.  They have earned a reputation and I do not know if they can get rid of this reputation, at least in my mind.  This shows the power of lying and how valuable the truth can be.  This class has made me have some doubt in everything someone says just because lying has so much power.  I do not letting getting lied too, so I always try to seek out the truth.  Everything I read and hear I think about differently now.  While this can be annoying at times, I generally like seeing the world through this different perspective.  

Conflicted

Being home for Thanksgiving has allowed me to see how much we, as people, are manipulated in our everyday lives. After being in this class, it is hard not to notice the small things that influence our decisions. It doesn’t seem to matter where I am going, or what I am doing, I now always seem to notice some form of manipulation acting on me.

Yesterday my family and I decided to go to the movies, and of course somehow left 15 minutes later than we were hoping to. This resulted in us rushing out of the house in order to get to the theater “on time”. In all honesty though, why bother rushing? What are we going to miss, the 20 minutes of trailers that are only there to manipulate us into coming back and spending more money on another movie or two? The problem is, however, I personally love the trailers. I know what the companies are doing by showing them, but I still watch. Seeing a preview of the newest movies coming out leaves me hanging and wanting more, thus making me need to see the movie: I am invested.

The mall is another prime example of extreme manipulation. It is almost impossible to go into the mall and come out having bought only one thing. The level of manipulation is absurd. As if the influence of brand names, store names and sales clerks wasn’t enough, there are always people in the mall handing me products and asking me if I want to hear about the “newest thing”. I see all of this manipulation happening around me, but I still allow myself to be influenced by it. Just two days ago, instead of buying the cheaper socks, I of course bought the under armor ones because I have been totally manipulated by the brand name.

Over this break I have been aware of all the manipulation that surrounds me at this time of year… and how I never noticed it before. However, this break has also made me realize that sometimes being aware of the manipulation doesn’t make you want it to go away… it just makes you more cynical. 

Cultural

Yesterday I visited the National Gallery of Art in Washington DC. Since I always feel a bit lost in these grand places, I was grateful to find a “highlights” brochure. I located my goal: a Da Vinci painting, highlighted as the only one in North America. I started strolling, generally heading towards my final destination, with intent to see other things on my way there (by getting a bit lost). Then I found a sequence of galleries with works by Van Gogh, Picasso, Gauguin, and Degas, feeling fortunate for my luck.  Looking around the room I noticed a kid and her mother, each next to a different painting, excitedly trying to get each other to come to her painting because “it’s Picasso’s!”. Then it struck me.

Like brand names of clothing, where we are manipulated to believe what we should wear, what is better quality, etc., we are manipulated into thinking what will make us “cultural”, if you can even define this adjective. Why do we need to see these works at the museum or know these artists’ names? This kid and her mother were merely putting check marks on their cultural “shopping lists”, to be able to say, “I saw it”. I don’t analyze art to its every brush stroke, and I usually don’t stare at the same painting, or any piece of art, for more than a few minutes (as I noticed a man did, for at least half an hour, as I passed by him twice, he was in the exact same position and posture). I do find some of these famous works to my taste and even admire the technique. But I do not worship every painting that was produced by their hands, merely because it’s theirs. Which makes me disappointed at times, because with these “brands” comes expectation for something grand. But that is not always the case. Will this make me pass on their works next time at the museum? Probably not, but I would feel less obliged to make an effort to find meaning in them, and more inclined to note the names of other artists whom I enjoyed more.

In the same context, another thing to point out, connecting to limitations made by our knowledge, is that we are limited by what the museum finds appropriate to put on display. So even if I enjoy paintings by less famous artists, they are only less familiar. Meaning they are still “brand names” to someone with deeper art background than mine.

*Thanks to my father for reviewing my post.