The. Final. Word.

Dear All,

Perhaps this is the last post of this semester. Perhaps this is the last post of the last of this class. Ever. ... Perhaps not.

I post nonetheless to thank you. Thank you for a fantastic semester. An exhausting semester. A rewarding semester. A truly, sincerely enlightening experience. I am confident, by reading your blog posts and interacting with each of you all semester, that I learned as much from you as you did from me. I can't ask for a better outcome. I wouldn't. The work you all put into this course -- in waves, in full tilt, in ebbs and flows, in sprints, in dogged determination and sometimes stubborn frustration -- has served you well. In my eyes, as I hope in yours.

Your work together, your collegiality as a class was inspiring. It proved an important example of what you can accomplish, what you will accomplish, and what you can be absolutely ok with not accomplishing. When I teach, I teach with the goal of influencing your thoughts. Of manipulating you to see, to understand, and to engage with the world as I do... or, better, as I believe you should do... ideally. Teaching is a license to dream in real time.

And yet, my teaching must inevitably move away from my voice and into yours. This is why I do what I do:  To set you up to take possession of a voice all your own. To provide you with those tools to set the course for your dreams. You were mine. Go be your own. Use your voice with care. Be powerful, and be just. Work hard for your happiness. Demand contentment.

Perhaps you have read these final words of mine. ... Perhaps not.

My voice is no longer my own, anyway.
j

Final Ramblings

21 minutes left.

Oh, what do I write? It’s been almost a week since we discussed new literature and my rewrite in class gave very little return. Every idea I formed on O’Brien and Vonnegut seemingly deserted after two months. However, it wasn’t as simple as a recall mission into what we had once discussed, it was a struggle against the information with which I had replaced the two novels.

17 minutes left.

All that remained was the focus of my paper. The only outstanding metaphors, the only meaningful connections, and vast gaps between the two narratives seemed to be those already within my paper. Though my topic was narrow compared to the variety of the novels, even to this minute I have nothing.

6 minutes left.

Damn, I shouldn’t have stopped there.

4 minutes left.

I wonder if that’s a generic product of thinking. By putting in great focus on one facet of an argument or a situation, can we loose all the detail around which our own thoughts are built? The next time I attempt to revise my paper, will I be able to think about anything other than thinking about how little I remember?

1 minute late.

Well, that’s a bad example. I can’t pretend to say I put an equivalent amount of work towards this blog post, but the question remains the same.

Final Post

For my last blog post, I felt a responsibility to write a post reflecting on the class and all of the great, eye-opening things I’ve discovered during the past four months. I’ve been sitting at my computer for approximately two hours trying to figure out exactly what to write about, that I haven’t already covered in past posts or that we haven’t discussed in class. It’s hard! This is a unique class so it’s difficult to come up with a grand conclusion when everything we’ve learned is still trying to settle in my brain.

            

I do have a gut feeling this is a class I will be telling my future employers, co-workers, friends, and kids about. However it’s hard for me to put my finger on exactly what aspect of the course or what lesson really resonated and stuck with me. I think that’s because I’m still so wrapped up in the course and it feels like, in terms of what we have learned in this class, it’s Janelle in my head and not necessarily me. I’ve found that a lot of time I gain a new perspective on a class after I’ve had some time away and feel more separated from it. So while right now I feel like the great things we have learned this semester are all just spinning in my head, I’m excited to see how they will affect me in the future, because I know in some way they will. 

Last Blog Post: Reflecting

The Hamilton Promise, which appears under the "Facts about Hamilton" section on their website, reads as follows: "At Hamilton, you can study what interests you, be accepted for who you are and what you believe, and prepare to be the person you were meant to become." Before taking Truth, Lies, & Literature, I can honestly say I had only accomplished two of the four things Hamilton promised me. I've studied what interests me. Each semester, I'm allowed to choose four classes and have basically no restrictions, other than the fact that I have to enroll in a writing-intensive class. I feel pretty confident that I'm accepted for who I am here, as well. However, I certainly hadn't felt like I was accepted for what I believe. In every class, I participate (sometimes sparingly), write papers, discuss with my classmates, and complete tests. I state what I believe, but I don't really know if my classmates or professors "accept" me for what I believe in. What does that even mean? How would one know if they are accepted for their beliefs? If the professor nods their head in approval?

In TLL, I learned that I am more than accepted for my beliefs, as long as I back up my opinions with a strong argument and evidence. I learned that it's ok to believe something that might go against the norm, and challenging that norm is even better. If students always acted the way they believed, I strongly believe that every professor would be challenged much more every day. Janelle has taught me that I can always be accepted for what I believe, it's just a matter of backing up my thoughts with evidence. Hopefully Hamilton will continue fulfilling their promise to me, that this whole college experience will prepare me to be the person I was meant to become...but who am I "meant" to become? I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Self-Actualization

As I was thinking back on my experience in the course this semester, one of the things that stood out to me the most was the self-actualization workshop. I was completely inspired after our class discussion and shared some of my notes with my close friends and family. Since then, I've been trying to incorporate more things that make me happy into my everyday lifestyle. I am thankful for the opportunity to learn, talk, and ask questions about something that actually mattered to me. I've never had that experience in another class. Although the workshop was class was not lead by Janelle, our discussions in Truth, Lies in Literature parallel and encourage the ideas brought out in the self-actualization workshop. Janelle always encourages us to defy her and although we may not have all challenged her with a different paper prompt or no paper at all, I think we have all defied her in some way or another. I've learned a lot more in this class about who I am and what makes me happy than I ever expected to. I am very grateful for that and for the experiences I've had in TLL this semester.

Hugging a Holocaust Survivor

So tomorrow is our last class. The semester is almost over and I feel obliged to write a post looking back on what we've learned, about how our eyes have been opened….Or I could write about the Helen Sperling talk I just got out of and hope that it relates back to this class. I think I'll go for the latter.

I think any time you go to listen to a Holocaust survivor's story, there's this numbness that infects the whole room. No one can feel anything. You can only sit there shocked by the fact that the living testimony of arguably man's greatest crime is sitting in front of you, recalling memories so indescribably painful, so irrationally cruel, that you begin to question why this person would ever want to relive these memories over and over again. 

I felt that very numbness tonight. I felt that sense that I could never touch, or feel, or even imagine the pain and suffering Helen and millions upon millions of others endured during the Holocaust. During the brief break about an hour into the talk, I turned to my friend and just said, "This is so incomprehensible" not because it didn't make any sense, but because I couldn't even begin to think that I understood her pain. No one could and I don't think anyone ever will.

But then, after she was done telling her story, a story similar to the many I have read in books and seen in movies, she started talking about history. She said that the survivors go out and tell their stories not to relive them and not just to help people understand, but for them to realize that history is repeating itself. The hatred, the ignorance, and the violence that brought about the Holocaust still exist. It's still out there. It's still killing people. Genocide is not a figment of the past. Hatred is not a relic to be preserved in history books. It lives on and survivors like Helen are watching it consume this world.

And when I think about this, I know that many will deny it. They’ll deny it because when they study it from a history book, they fell safe from it. It has happened and therefore will never happen again. We’ve all learned. Done. Close the book. Walk away. But that’s just it. Books can warn us of man’s follies and his greatest failures, but very few can incite action. That’s because people feel safe when they read stories because their influence only exists when you’re looking at the page. When you look away, you can forget about what you were reading. By existing within the physical medium of a page, a story, like history, is isolated and disconnected from us. We can look upon our world from a safe distance and be ok with it when it’s all said and done. The pages of a book are, in essence, man’s greatest safety blanket and man is therefore made into an eternal bystander.

But then there are stories like Helen’s that defy the nature of books and live instead through the medium of the human voice. When Helen said that she saw history repeating itself, that’s when I felt it. I felt her sorrow. I felt her pity for this world gone wrong. I felt her horror and helplessness to see man consume himself once more. History came alive to me and everyone else in that chapel. Beyond the confines of a book, stories can make us feel. I went up to Helen tonight and talked to her about how much I agreed with her. And we hugged. If I had just finished reading a book, there would be no person to hug, no warmth or love. I would just move on.

Thus, we are left with the task of seeing beyond the medium of novels and books. We must look past everything we’ve learned in this course and see the bigger picture. We must see that the stories we read are not scraps of paper but products of human hands and the sounds of a human voice. We must recognize stories, like history, live on around us and are not simply latent words weighed down by meaninglessness. They must become parts of our lives, not just simple observations. In the end, I reflect on one rule that sums it all up: Thou shalt not be a bystander.

See Ya

I’ll be honest; I’ve never liked English classes. When I came to Hamilton I decided to make the most of my liberal arts education and take one, hoping to rid myself of all the negativity that my high school classes had made me feel towards English. From the first day of class when Janelle introduced herself, I knew that this course would change my opinion for the better.

All of my college courses have been consistently the same: read this, memorize that, do this problem set, and regurgitate every piece of information back on the tests. This course has been the exception. I am able to be creative and really use my mind for good. We’ve been given so much freedom, and I have been forced to think outside the box, something that most professors never allow us to do. We are enabled to our own opinion. It is a rare occasion that a professor truly takes students’ ideas into consideration.

This class has opened me up to a whole new world that I’ve never before been exposed to. I can now think freely, write with ease, and voice my opinion in class discussions. I have Janelle and my classmates to thank for that. I’ve grown as a student by learning not only from my professor, but also from all of my peers. Everyone is so engaged in class discussions, and I have not left a single class without taking away an important message.

I now find myself seeing the manipulation that exists in everything. I do few things without questioning my ulterior motives. Taking this class was a risk for me, but I can truthfully admit that doing so has been one of my best choices of my college career thus far.

Finals

Since everyone else seems to be posting about finals I suppose I will go on my own little rant. Finals and the stress that come with the end of the year really annoy me. I feel like every course follows a timeline of assignments and activities that are expected rather than one that makes sense for each individual course and its material. Finals especially fall into this category. It's the last two weeks or so of school and every professor thinks its time to "see what you know". All I'm showing my teachers is what kind of paper or exam I can scrape together through the stress and exhaustion of a closing semester. This isn't meant to be me complaining from a lazy standpoint, I just believe that if finals are an attempt for students to culminate what they have learned, this is a poor representation. The pressure to perform on these evaluations rarely produce an accurate picture of what kind of student someone is or what they have taken away from a course. By the time we get to college especially, we have reached a point where education is no longer required, we are paying to further our knowledge. Why is this not enough incentive to engage in a course? I think interest and personal will should be what motivate us in courses rather than the desire to make a grade and regurgitate "what we know" in 3 hours or less for a large portion of a grade. While there needs to be a way of assessing what students have taken from a course, I believe that equally distributed exams and papers may not be the best way to gauge that.

Lessons of Life

This course was definitely different than any of my other courses. Most of my courses are in the sciences, where I learn to memorize the finding of others, how molecules work and just how human are body function biologically. I am constantly being jam-packed with information and there is never really any space for creativity. I liked learning under those terms because it is easy for me to memorizing terms and follow someone else’s shadow. I like having set rules with structure to follow.

However this course has challenged my perception of my reality, it has made me question whether I really enjoy what I am learning or is it just something I am doing for the sake of grades. It has made me question the idea of grades, something that defined my intelligence. The course has taught me to find my own shadow, and learn what the society has done to my mind, and most importantly learn about the art of manipulation. I have learned to get out of my comfort zone and learn that my life may not necessarily be what I chose but rather what was chosen for me. I have learned a valuable life lesson about finding myself. The lesson I have learned here goes beyond my knowledge to get into a graduate school it is something that will prepare me for life. 

The End.

Everyone says college flies by, enjoy it, but as every day passes it feels like an eternity. Today, I flipped through the last two weeks on my planner and realized that my freshman year is coming to an end. I never thought I would say this, but I am going to miss it. Being a freshman allows me to make mistakes, say stupid things, and not know everything because I am just a freshman. We're so innocent and clueless, but it is all over. Next year, I can't not know where things are, I can't not know everything about college, I have to be all grown up. I'm 100% not about that life.

This year was scary, sad, fun, amazing, and new. I loved everything about it (except for the homework). I met really cool people. I met some awful people too. I learned a few things about myself, but I still have no idea who I am.

My classes taught me some stuff, mainly how to memorize text books. Except one. I never thought I would say I enjoyed an English class, but I honestly did. This was the one class I never skipped a reading for, I got my essays in on time, I did my work. It is pretty ironic that the one class where the professor tells me to do whatever I want, I do exactly what I "should"do.
Janelle taught us about some writers, she explained some books, she helped us with our writing skills, but she did so much more than that. Not only can I not get through one shower without laughing at my body wash and shampoo bottles, but I cannot sit through one class without second guessing professors. Today, I heard a talk from a Holocaust survivor; the whole time all I could think about was the manipulation. All I heard from her mouth--other than some horrifying stories--was that we need to be careful because manipulation is all around us. Some, like my mac and cheese saying it is organic, is harmless, but others can be life threatening.

The greatest thing I got from this class, other than some cool friends and one amazing professor, was that I need to open my eyes. I think I am so educated and aware, but not once had I noticed that my body wash (made of 100% chemicals) said it was "organic" and "all natural."

I guess what I am trying to say is I really really really really loved this class, the books we read, the people I met, and the lessons I learned (or was told to learn?). So, thank you and peace out.

This is the End

This class has taught me to become more aware of manipulation in my daily life. I thought that being able to recognize manipulation in unexpected places and situations would lead me to become more paranoid and cautious, but this hasn’t been the case at all.

Coming out of this class, I feel more empowered. Yes, there are circumstances that are beyond my control, but there will always be circumstances beyond my control. I understand now that ultimately each of us has the power to direct the course of our own lives. We can choose whether or not we will allow advertisers, friends, teachers, and even ourselves to manipulate us. There are going to be limitations to our choices, but I believe that because we are more conscious of the manipulation that surrounds us, we have more choice than we think we do. 

 It’s sort of ironic how this greater insight has led me to believe in more possibilities. This is particularly because I consider myself a cynical person at heart. However, like many of my classmates who have posted before me, Truth, Lies in Lit has changed my outlook. Like Meredyth and Amelia, I notice that I manipulate myself in little ways to make me happier—and I’m completely okay with that. Every morning I try to act extra chipper at breakfast so that I can trick my body out of its tired and exhausted state. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

When it comes down to it, I am a less cynical person now because I am more aware of both the negative and positive facets of manipulation. While I’m still fairly distrustful by nature, I’m also more hopeful because of the lessons that I have taken away from this class.

My Experiences with the Course

            I was having a really tough time thinking of something to blog about tonight, so I figured I’d just talk about some of the aspects that I really liked about this class. As a prospective math and physics double major, I have not had the opportunity to take many discussion-based classes. However, I was often disappointed with those that I did take. This class was the exact opposite. I really enjoyed hearing everyone’s opinions throughout the year, as well as chipping in my own two cents. I feel that every single person added something valuable to the group, and I will definitely miss that in semesters to come. I think it spoke volumes about our class when Janelle said she would be late to class and we all started discussing Foe.

            I thought one of the coolest things about this class was how many different types of manipulation we discussed via different types of media. We read novels, watched movies, and explored real-life manipulation through media(ted) artiFacts. Each novel covered something new and original about manipulation, so it never really got boring. At times I was challenged by the somewhat unorthodox class structure and self-grading but I feel it made me a better student, and encouraged me to view the world a little differently.