Trying to be hyper-aware of my daily life and behavior is
extremely difficult. It is easy to think
about why I participate in certain bigger decisions because there is a concrete
reason with noticeable consequences for not doing it. For example, why I go to swim practice—it’s
fun and I want to get faster. Or why I
put on my huge puffy jacket—I don’t want to freeze. On the other hand, paying attention to the
actions that are seemingly insignificant is almost impossible. I am not used to thinking about why I choose
pencil over pen, this shirt over that shirt, this cubicle or the next. It makes me question whether those are really
conscious choices. I doubt it is random, but then again I don’t
think about it as I make my choice—is it possible to choose subconsciously? Is there such thing as a subconscious choice
or does that contradict the very meaning of the word “choice”?
I applied this idea to my interactions
with other people and whether I really make conscious choices regarding the
interactions. For example, the moment we
see someone’s expression or hear his or her tone of voice, we are immediately
manipulated into acting a certain way.
When I can tell someone is having a rough time, I ask if everything is
okay, maybe give him or her a hug. I
choose to do this instead of being insensitively positive or ignoring
them. But do I actually choose? I think that it is more that I have been
taught to make this choice—that I know this is the choice I am supposed to make. Furthermore, I cannot control whether or not
I make the snap judgment when I first see them, thus forcing the reaction.
These judgments inevitably lead to impressions,
which are also manipulative. Not only
can we not help forming impressions, but we are also concerned with how others
view us, and this concern has a power over us.
We are manipulated into acting a certain way based on what we want these
impressions to be. If we are
manipulated, it is no longer an unbiased choice.
This ties back to what was mentioned in class about who has ultimate
power. In interactions, every individual
holds influence over the other, and because of this, no individual has the power to
make a true choice for himself.
I relate to what you wrote. Differently than what I thought before I came here, Israeli and American cultures are very different in many ways (though similar too). As I observed, interacted and experienced I became more aware of the "social norms" and began (or at least attempted) in adjusting myself. I became very aware to certain differences, and bit myself up when I realized after-fact that I behaved against these "norms". One example is shaking hands. I was very surprised when other students, specifically during pre-orientation and orientation, shook hands with each other (with me) and made a very formal introduction. In Israel (at least where I grew up), you usually don’t shake hands in social interactions, specifically not with your about-20-years-old peers (it’s for “grown-ups”). This made me very self-conscious during family weekend as well, when I met a few of my friends’ parents and was not sure whether I should stretch out my hand.
ReplyDeleteWhy do we define these unspoken social “norms”? Why do we, as a society, believe they’re a necessity for “civilized” cultures?