Saving Timmy

 

            “I was Timmy then; now I’m Tim. But the essence remains the same” (223). This is what Tim the writer says about his younger self. While reading this passage, I tried to draw the connections. Nine-year-old Timmy lost his friend to a brain tumor. Twenty-three-year-old Tim lost multiple friends in the war. Nine-year-old Timmy lost his innocence. Twenty-three-year-old Tim’s chance at innocence is long gone. Timmy has become Tim, and yet years later, Tim the war veteran and writer still tries to save Timmy by writing stories. After taking the time to mull things over, I came to the conclusion that I agree with the Tim who is writing these stores. At their core, Timmy and Tim are the same. Both have experienced trauma in their lives, and will never be able to bring back the friends they’ve lost. Timmy dreamed up stories where he imagined Linda right before him, in the flesh, alive and healthy. Tim writes war stories that aren’t actually about war.              

            The stories and the people have changed, but Tim’s way of dealing with loss is the same. He started out trying to preserve Linda and consequently his innocence, by thinking of stories. Now Tim the writer is trying to preserve innocence by keeping the stories going. Earlier in the book, Tim says that he has never considered writing stories as a coping mechanism; I disagree. It’s not a coincidence that Timmy began storytelling after Linda’s death and returned to the same ritual many years after the war. Whether Tim realizes it or not he's handling death and trauma the same way Timmy did.