Everything is Natural

            All natural foods hold a special place on the supermarket shelves. Suburban soccer moms are drawn to them like Gollum to the One Ring. They’re better for you. I mean, how could they not be? I’m sure Abby’s off-brand cheese puffs are hand made in Greece and lathered in the country’s finest goat cheese, fresh from the pasture. I have no doubt in my mind that some master chef gave his blessing to each individual puff as it came out of his Italian-made brick oven. Abby then, I’m positive, savored each bite as an individual work of art. There is no finer pleasure in the world than off-brand Greek cheese puffs. That bag deserves to be labeled “all natural.” So what does this prestigious title even mean?

            Absolutely nothing. The FDA and USDA have exactly zero standards for the labels “natural” and “all natural.” Sure, they vaguely discourage misleading labels for food products, but then again, “natural” really isn’t all that misleading. All foods are derived from animals and plants. Everything in the world was, at some point or another, natural. Even when foods are made entirely from chemicals, those compounds must exist in nature in order to, well, exist. Sure, many are man-made in a factory, but in a broad definition of “natural,” nothing can exist if it does not have the potential to exist. If I had the power to create food with spontaneous combustion, I could still come to the United States and jump through a few loopholes to sell it as “all natural.” When you think about it that way, “natural” labels seem like a huge scam. Yet these products continue to sell in supermarkets nation-wide. But why?

            The answer is simple: people are stupid and easily manipulated. I know I am. Especially for off-brand products, the “all natural” label is a selling point. Sure, it’s cheap, but it seems like it’s also better for you. Without those few words on the bag, Abby’s cheese puffs would look like a disgusting factory-made knock-off, especially when compared to a product like Pirate’s Booty, which made its name for being the only good-tasting snack sold at Whole Foods. The case of the off-brand cheese puffs is one of manipulation by appearance. People generally buy into ideas when those presenting them sound intelligent and look like they know what they’re talking about. The same goes for food products. Companies draw people in with price and make the sale with labels. At the same price point, the better looking bag will sell every time, no matter the quality. I know that I fall into the trap all the time. I did it with the iphone, and I do it in the grocery store all the time. If something looks cheap and processed, the obvious assumption is that it is cheap and processed. “All natural” is a simple phrase that whisks those fears away.