I think a less talked about source of manipulation occurs from our own commentary on our lives. I find this most relevant whenever someone asks me, "How are you doing?". The answer that always comes out is something of the following:
A) It's great! (I just accomplished something great or am very excited by a new prospect!)
B) Nothing much, you? (The 95% of your life when nothing particularly remarkable is happening)
C) Kind of terrible. (Reserved for the most awful of situations, or as a comment on the weather here)
Then, the exchange is done. The answer isn't necessarily "real" in any sense, but just a quick response that isn't too untrue to our feelings. This XKCD comic basically iterates the same idea. (http://xkcd.com/222/)
I feel like the way we sell our lives to others who aren't ingrained in our lives is a particularly interesting sort of manipulation, because we are active in it and how we relate it. The two reasons I've divined for this are as follows:
1) We give answers we think others want to hear. You'll tell your parents you're having a great time here when you just sat in a booth in the library for the past hours, or when no one asks you do hang out at night. Could they really handle knowing that college life isn't the constant whirlwind of happiness and inspiration that their kid thought it was? When Janelle asks us about the relevance of The Man in the Glass Castle, do you tell her that you were actively complaining about it to your friends prior, or just give a passive shrug? What would she think of you if she knew you actively disagreed with one of her choices? Will she be heartbroken if you have an uninspired post on the blog? (Does she even read all the blog posts at this point anyway?)
2) We give answers we want to be true. Hate to bring this into cliche technology territory because I am trying to write outside of the tech standpoint but look at social media - Facebook in particular. A profile picture encapsulates a person's life in a 160 x 160 pixel square. Am I going to emphasize my outgoingness, my ease of getting pictures taken at night time with attractive people, my family, my latest Adirondack Adventure? How do I want people to think of me as? The answer usually isn't usually you being you, its you being the you you want to be you.
Putting this in the context of my life, and possibly helping my title make sense, I notice I usually try to market my life as a sitcom when talking with others. I want them to think, "Oh, what zany and unexpected event happened to little innocent Richard this time?", so I emphasize my ups and downs in a comedic standpoint, always looking back on the events with a smile and assuring them it was all laughs, kind of like a San Lorenzan. I've kind of got realizing that this is such an inaccurate (not to mention sophomoric) view of my life. The problem is, if I don't do this, it might lead to the thought, "Who will think my life is interesting?" which leads to "Is my life actually interesting?" which then would go down a rabbit hole of self pity and the like. Not the kind of spiral we all want to think about, obviously. So they'll manipulate us and we'll manipulate them and pretty soon everyone's thinking everyone else has the craziest and coolest lifestyle, and we learn to deal with the normal parts of life less and less. If we take this back to Facebook for emphasis, this effect is amplified as we scroll down the "infinite scroll" (borrowed that word from Hayley's wonderful post) that are the exciting events that everyone's friends have chosen to show about themselves. Thus, the manipulation is harmful and can lead to adverse effects, like a study linking Facebook usage to lesser general well-being.(http://www.plosone.org/article/info:doi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0069841)
A person's life can be many things, but I do see why it's hard to express that completely without really knowing a person for an extended period of time. I'm just a little more cognizant at this point of how I present myself, or evaluate others based on what they say.
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