Do what you want……….. oh no, not like that.

Today in class, I asked Professor Schwartz whether we had to blog this week or not and her response was “sure.” I have been so accustomed to people telling me that I have to do something a certain way by a certain date that when she said ‘sure’, I responded ‘ so does that mean yes? or no?” In all honesty, and as she clearly pointed out- I have no reason to ask her that question. I am grading my participation in the blog and whether I do or do not blog is my decision. This, however, is a clear example of how manipulated we have been in this course. But, that being said, the manipulation has actually helped me. I was so manipulated that I was given the opportunity to challenge a Professor (something I would have never dreamed of doing), I have the chance to make my own decisions whether I did or did not do a piece of work, and I chose my own grade for this blog participation. I have been so manipulated that I now truly understand the “so what?” to most of the work I did in this class.

While filling out the teacher evaluations for this class, it seemed a lot more difficult than the others because I know that I was being manipulated by the questions they were asking me. This evaluation is supposed to be my own opinion of this class, my opinion of the professor, and what I have taken from this class. “Effort and engagement” for this class is definitely different for the effort and engagement for another course. If I were to write that I walked into my professors office and told her that I didn’t agree with something she said or were annoyed by something that happened in class, that wouldn’t be considered positive engagement. Similarly, the effort put into this class is often reflected in our blog posts that are also our own responsibility. No one is checking to make sure that the qualities of the posts meet certain standards because frankly, there aren’t any concrete standards that we have been given to follow.

At the end of this semester, I can safely say that this course has been ‘effective’ (to use the evaluation terminology). However, I think this course has been effective in different ways for different students in the class. Whereas in calculus where it is effective if you find the derivative or limit of something, this class is what you make of it and it is effective only if you let it be. We have all manipulated this course just as much as it has manipulated us. From this course I can safely say that I have not only gained a new outlook and approach to literature and film, but to daily interactions and my own self-satisfaction. This course has pointed out things totally confusing and outstanding like stories within stories etc but has also pointed out things that are so obvious we take them for granted.

While this class has been nothing like any of my other educational experiences, I believe that what it has done for me goes way beyond the Truth, Lies and Literature.

But, maybe Schwartz has just manipulated me into believing that? Who knows…