As if all of that isn’t enough, this same girl’s dad keeps telling her to take two 300-level math classes and two lab science classes IN ONE SEMESTER. Now I know that there are some people that can do this, but she knows that she won’t be able to handle it, yet she is still finding herself leaning towards that route only because her parents are manipulating her into thinking that this is what is best for her. This is frustrating for everyone because as if it isn’t bad enough that three others are left stressing out about housing, now our friend is starting to accept that she might not know what’s best for her even though that is definitely not the case. A little bit of a weird way to look at manipulation, but this is an on-going issue so I figured it’s relevant.
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
"Momma knows best"
There are four girls in my circle of friends that have talked about living together in a quad next year since the middle of first semester. That has always been their plan—they didn’t feel the need to consider other options even though their lottery numbers and how quickly the dorms fill up are totally out of their control. Anyway, two of them got amazing numbers (sure to get a quad) and two of them got relatively shitty numbers. So although there doesn’t seem to be a problem, the girl with the highest number recently started to change her mind about whether or not she really sees herself living in a quad. The reason she’s starting to change her mind is because her parents are manipulating her into thinking that having three roommates would be detrimental to her education and college experience, saying that she would have all these distractions, wouldn’t feel the need to branch out socially, etc. These were never her concerns before; she is involved in various extracurriculars and has more than enough friends. However, the concept that “momma knows best” and that advice from parents should always be taken is starting to affect both her housing situation and everyone else’s, because now they’re left struggling to find other options in case the quad that they’ve dreamed about for months doesn’t end up working out.
As if all of that isn’t enough, this same girl’s dad keeps telling her to take two 300-level math classes and two lab science classes IN ONE SEMESTER. Now I know that there are some people that can do this, but she knows that she won’t be able to handle it, yet she is still finding herself leaning towards that route only because her parents are manipulating her into thinking that this is what is best for her. This is frustrating for everyone because as if it isn’t bad enough that three others are left stressing out about housing, now our friend is starting to accept that she might not know what’s best for her even though that is definitely not the case. A little bit of a weird way to look at manipulation, but this is an on-going issue so I figured it’s relevant.
As if all of that isn’t enough, this same girl’s dad keeps telling her to take two 300-level math classes and two lab science classes IN ONE SEMESTER. Now I know that there are some people that can do this, but she knows that she won’t be able to handle it, yet she is still finding herself leaning towards that route only because her parents are manipulating her into thinking that this is what is best for her. This is frustrating for everyone because as if it isn’t bad enough that three others are left stressing out about housing, now our friend is starting to accept that she might not know what’s best for her even though that is definitely not the case. A little bit of a weird way to look at manipulation, but this is an on-going issue so I figured it’s relevant.
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I like that you talked about parent manipulation here. I know that for me, especially when I'm away at college, it isn't something that I think about very much at all. However, it is certainly something that has had dramatic affects on me literally since I was born, and those affects can often be very hard to overcome. It is hard to avoid feeling a sense of indebtedness to your parents (not saying that this is wrong), but this sense of indebtedness can spur decision making that is against what might be best for someone, and it can be really hard to justify going against one's parents.
ReplyDeleteParents definitely have a strong influence over our decisions. I know mine do. I usually go to them before making a big decision to get their advice or I guess in a way their 'permission'. I know that I am fully capable of making my own decisions and that I know what's best for myself, but consulting them just feels natural. Last week we talked about in class how for a lot of us whether we were going to college wasn't the choice, the choice was where we were going. My parents told me that I didn't have a choice about whether I wanted to go to college. My mom said I had to get a degree and then I could do whatever I wanted.
ReplyDeleteI find it fascinating to think about the different ways parents can directly or indirectly affect you. It makes me think of how we can be manipulated without even knowing it. My parents were always extremely open to anything and everything I dreamed up. They were always supportive and rarely told me what to do. Even though this freedom should have made me a completely independent free-spirited person, I have begun to notice over the years how most of my interests spark from my parents' interests. Most of who I am comes directly from them. I am probably going to have a bunch of random creative jobs like my parents did. Someone who grew up with doctors for parents will probably want to become a doctor or at least do something close to that. My point is that even if a parent is not directly manipulating you to do something, you can manipulate yourself to become like your parents without even intending to.
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