You are about to begin reading Andrew Kozaites’s new blog. Relax. Concentrate. Maybe pick one of your favorite songs on Itunes. May I suggest Chopin? It’s good reading music.
Sit comfortably in your chair. Or lie on your bed if you have a lap top. Before you begin reading, get the everydays out of the way. Check your email. Fool around on Facebook for a few minutes. Catch up on the local news and sports.
Finally you settle on the Truth Lies and Literature homepage. You look to see who’s posted before this writer. You glance over their blogs, but really you came here to read this one.
The blog begins somewhere in a library computer lab. A young student is reading up on their literature class’s blog page. They search frantically for the post entitled “If on a when a someone would do what?” but come up with nothing. The reader knows it’s there. They saw it just last night when they glanced at the page. Perhaps it’s the computer.
Now where could this blog possibly be going? Does it have any real substance, purpose or meaning? Or is it that Andrew Kozaites is too lazy and opted to imitate Italo Calvino?
The reader goes to the next computer. Signs in. Goes to the Truth Lies and Literature page and finds the “If on a when a someone would do what?” post. They begin to read, but are soon distracted by the person sitting next to them.
I am using “Them” as a means of overcoming the ambiguity of the sexes, as well as the multiple readers that I am sure “you” all are.
They fall in love and get married. They are in bed and the reader still has the laptop with themselves. The one asks whether or not the reader is tired of reading this blog yet.
And you reply “Just a moment I’ve almost finished reading Andrew Kozaites’s new blog ‘If on a when a someone would do what?”
I love it!! I think you did a really good job of copying the idea of Italo Calvino's novel, especially since it was written in such a weird and confusing style.
ReplyDeleteThe title of Italo Calvino's book is witty because it is a play on the story telling form "if on a when a someone does what?" People have used to get novels or just camp fire stories started.
ReplyDeleteIf you didn't know that and picked that title, that's really cool and I wanted to let you know so you could feel smart.
If you did know that and that's why you picked this title then...yeah, you're one step ahead of me. Well played, sir.
Andrew, I now bow down to your writing abilities. I just got completely consumed by your blog, without even realizing it was a blog and not a short story.
ReplyDelete